Weekly Question: "I Expected People To Be Different From This Group"

"I joined this one group that aligned with my core values and was meant to be different than all the other groups I have been a part of in the past. But then, I met someone and that person acted rudely towards me. It really caught me off guard. I expected to be treated differently in this group. It got me wondering, is something wrong with me?" 

This came up in a conversation with a person in my network recently. 

Now, I know this person. They are awesome! 

I also know of the group they are talking about. It's awesome! 

There are so many wonderful people in that group and for the most part, the group has so much to offer its participants. 

So what was the real problem? 

At first, I acknowledged the pain the person was going through, it was very clear from the way they presented the question that they were deeply moved. 

The next thing was that I assured them that all my interactions with them were positive and brilliant. I've gained so much from knowing this person - so I honestly have no idea where the negative reaction from the other person was coming from. 

I suspect I know who this negative person might be, but I'm not going to pry and it's not my business to guess. 

What truly mattered was this. 

We are all human at the end of the day. 

As humans we are imperfect and we all have our flaws - whatever they may be. 

To expect people to be perfect, ideal, altruistic, or anything else, is naive. (Sorry for being so blunt). 

Yes, it's true that the core values of this group are wonderful and for the most part, most people in the group are incredible, top-notch people. However, people are people. Humans are humans. It is within our nature to not be 100%. We cannot be expected to perform 100% and certainly, we cannot be expected to be held to other people's standards. 

This lesson is true of everyone else. 

Just as we don't want to be judged and held to a standard, we cannot hold others to any particular standard. 



I'm curious about your thoughts... How would you have responded? 

Feel welcome to comment and post your thoughts on the LinkedIn Post