Weekly Live Show Recap - Ep. 20 - Believing In Others - Ft. Yisroel Pekar

Introduction:

A person that was able to work on themselves is one that is able to lead a team effectively. Be it in their work environment, school environment, or even within their personal lives. It requires a great deal of self-awareness and oftentimes, leadership is called upon us either by nature of our circumstances or the journey upon which life takes us. 

In this discussion, we talk about The Inner Landscape, Inner Self-Talk, and what it takes to be able to believe in others. A strong leader is one that is able to draw from within themselves in order to empower those around them.  

 
In case you missed the podcast, Wednesday Live Show, and Thursday Night Clubhouse discussions - please check out the following links: 

• Wednesday Evening Live Show 
• Thursday Night Clubhouse Discussion

You can also sign up to our Club on Clubhouse to see all further discussions and go back to previous replays.

Who is Yisroel Pekar?

• Yisroel is a Principal at Darchai Menachem School in Crown Heights, NY as well as a parenting coach. 
• Yisroel was born in the US and moved to Israel when he was 9. 
• Never considered himself to be a great student but at the age of 19 was given the ultimatum to go to college or to have to support himself. 
• Despite his lack of academic ability he applied himself to college and passed the GED. 
• Yisroel reflected on his own schooling and how it was lacking in many ways but that the staff he remembers are the ones who put the extra effort to go the extra mile to build a relationship with him. This has become the cornerstone of Yisroel’s philosophy. 
• While in college he went to work for a Chabad rabbi in New Zealand and spent time as an Assistant Rabbi. Towards the end of his time in NZ, he received a pen from Sara Glass that said: “To a great Educator” - this was the moment he knew he wanted to be an educator instead of pursuing his previous path of marketing. 
• The reason for Yisroel being an educator is because of all the issues and challenges in the educational system. He wanted to be able to fix the problems. 
• Yisroel started at Darchai as an Assistant Teacher and ended up becoming a Principal. 
• Yisroel was introduced to Shimon Waronker, a master educator who also gave parenting courses at the school he ran. 

Watch the recap below: 

“The Failing ‘A’ Student”: 

• Yermi shares his story of being a lab academically great student but was “failing” behaviorally according to his teachers. This was because his teachers were not modeling the right relationship. 
• Often times those who struggle the most in a given area end up becoming experts in that area. It’s for us to take our challenges and turn them into our greatest successes 
• The thing that distances children the most from their parents or leaders is hypocrisy. When we say to do one thing but we act in a completely different way it tells our children, students, employees, and partners that we don’t believe in what we say. 

Watch the recap below: 

The Inner Landscape: 

• The Torah says “Love your fellow as you love yourself.” This is the barometer for how much to love someone else. But also we can’t love someone else if we don’t love ourselves. 
• The first step to loving others is loving yourself. 

Watch the recap below: 

Inner Self Talk: 

• “The worst things I’ve ever said I’ve said to my spouse.” - when there are fewer barriers to a relationship the more comfortable we are with saying things that shouldn’t be said. 
• On a deeper level, because we are “so close” to ourselves we say the worst things to ourselves. 
• Could it be the most effective way to transition from negative self-talk to positive self-talk is to speak it to someone else? 
• Any time you need to make a big decision, talk to someone else about it. 
• Often times the thing we need most in order to process our challenges is to hear ourselves talk it out with someone else. 

Watch the recap below:

Treating Others Better:

• The key to successful leadership, parenting, and inspiring your staff is to treat them respectfully. 
• When dealing with students and children we really need to think “how would I respond if this were an adult”. We wouldn’t “punish” adults for not doing what we want them to. 
• Ask yourself when communicating “what does this individual need in order to best understand what I am trying to convey.”
• Ultimately everything is the leader's responsibility. In the classroom, it’s the teacher's responsibility. If a teacher isn’t performing it’s the administrator's responsibility. Same thing with the workplace.

Watch the recap below: 

The Bottom Line: 

The 3 main takeaway points were: 

• People are called to leadership - whether it be due to circumstances in their lives, or by nature of their workplace
•  A good leader begins with their inner landscape, in the sense of leading themselves first, being careful to only fill themselves with positivity, this way they will be able to lead others effectively.
•  In order to lead others effectively, we ought to see ourselves as responsible for our environment and those that are around us. We are responsible if our teams are not performing effectively. 

Contributors to this article include:

Yisroel Pekar. - Yisroel Pekar is a principal in Darchai Menachem and a parenting coach. As a principal, he has transformed the academic structure to make it more accessible to the students and has focused on the relationship between school culture and students' individual success.

In addition, he has been giving parenting courses that have changed his life and the lives of many parents.

Yisroel lives in Crown Heights with his wife and 4 children.

You can learn more about Yisroel and connect with him by visiting his Website.   

Boruch DuBrow - Boruch is an Exceptional Development Coach with over 13 years of experience as an educator. Boruch has helped hundreds of people feeling lost in life to discover their path and reach their potential. Today, Boruch educates and empowers individuals and organizations to discover their path, define their purpose, and create an “Exceptional” future for themselves, their families, and their organizations. 

To learn more about Boruch DuBrow feel free to follow him on LinkedIn, or Instagram, You can also reach Boruch by emailing him at [email protected]

Yermi Kurkus - Yermi has spent most of his career helping people at their lowest find meaning and purpose through proven methods that are built from psychology, philosophy, and mystical teachings. Yermi's approach is pragmatic and down to earth, thus coining the term Practical Mindfulness. 

Today, Yermi partners up with business owners, professionals, and individuals that want to become more "irresistible" in their personal and professional lives, as well as helping founders build "irresistible" systems in their businesses.

To learn more about Yermi Kurkus feel free to follow him on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. You can also reach Yermi by emailing him at [email protected]